We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
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I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
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He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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