In the future we'll all be gay
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize