you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
time to smoke my breakfast
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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