There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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