I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
don't judge my taste in strippers
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
