i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
