With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
