So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
