I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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