just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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