Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
