You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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