halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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