Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
