is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
