that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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