I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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