It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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