I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
