I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
