You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm sobbing to NWA
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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