Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
