it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
