I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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