I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
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just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
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i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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