Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
