so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
