The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
