i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
