Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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