were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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