If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
