This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
