fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
