You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
How does it feel to date your dad?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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