Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize