So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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