I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
