since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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