It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
