Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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