I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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