I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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