Someone shit on the floor
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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