Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
