seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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