you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Let's get the cat blown out
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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