things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
