So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
