"it" just moved
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
