every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm always down for nudity.
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