That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
