She announced her abortion via fbk
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
