Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i already hear my dad disowning me
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
