I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
