I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
