Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
